face to dust
I am reading all the things right now.
I have a blessed child-free morning for work and study and listening and writing. And at the encouragement of a precious aunt, I prayed all the way home from dropping off the wee beastie that I would not be moving in with goals of productivity, but to know Christ and to know He is all. To hear from Him. My aunt wrote to me from across the world this week, in response to a request for prayer on my book project. Her words:
I'm reading in Ezra right now and have been amazed (again) with how God stirs the hearts of non-believers, moves [the] hearts of those He wants to return to Jesus, allows the stalling of the rebuilding of His house by enemies - for a loooong time, then sends His prophets to get things going again (without government permission even), then has His folks appeal to the authority of the king, whom He prompts to provide not only permission, but also protection and provision! All that to say that God's plan is often not a straight, unbroken line of movement ahead. His route is often circuitous, full of (what seem to us) interruptions, even backing up. But He is faithful to accomplish his plans.
Those words. I have to consider the truth of such words.
And in the silence and the background music, I am reading blogs and praying and I came across these two beautiful bloggers: Vaneetha and Lara. I’m not sure how I got to either of their blogs – social media is amazing. (And terrifying. But that’s another thing.)
Vaneetha wrote a powerful post called “What if the Worst Happens?” and her transparency let me hear God’s voice in her words:
In the book of Daniel, Daniel’s three friends Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were not guaranteed deliverance. And just before Nebuchadnezzar delivered them to the fire, they offered some of the most courageous words ever spoken. “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it…But even if he does not, we want you to know that we will not serve your gods…”
Even if. Even if the worst happens, God’s grace is sufficient. Those three young men faced the fire without fear because they knew that no matter the outcome, it would be the best for them, the best for their nation, and the best for God’s glory.
They did not ask “what if” the worst happened. They were satisfied knowing that “even if” the worst happened, God would take care of them.
And Lara’s words from her post on a homeschool “meltdown” that I connected with, despite not yet being a homeschool mama:
Just because something is hard, doesn’t mean we’re on the wrong road. In fact, anything that strips us of self and teaches us greater dependence on Jesus is a gift.
These days, homeschooling is my personal messy place. It’s not earth-shattering or world-altering yet, but it’s where we are. And wherever we find ourselves —whatever the mess, big or small — God can be found. He wants to be found. And whenever we press into Him, He ushers in His peace and joy and love and hope and wisdom for our journey. Amen for grace.
Whatever the mess. If our worst fears come true. Wherever we find ourselves. In hard, hard things.
Jesus is enough.
He is enough.
Even if this is really, really hard and even if the Scary Things all come true.
And so I kneel. I open my hands to trade all my "what ifs" for "even ifs", knowing that He is worthy of such trust. I put my face to the dust at the feet of Him who saves and is making all things new and I confess over and again that He is Lord and He is enough, even if.